The Canadian women’s hockey team celebrate their gold by making out on Center Ice

After winning the gold medal at the 2010 Winter Olympics, the women of the Canadian Olympic Hockey team politely accepted them and waved to an adoring crowd. And then the real celebration began as all of the Canadian team members began making out, ferociously, with each other on Center Ice.

More than a half an hour after beating the US, 2-0, the players came back from the locker room and staged a party on ice. Completely adorned with all of the latest sex-toy paraphernalia Vancouver had to offer.

“This is the most fun I have ever had at the Winter Olympics,” said Meghan Agosta. “Beating the United States was one thing, but getting an opportunity, afterwards, to truly experience all of the wonderful skills and talents of my beautiful teammates was just heaven on earth for me. Especially Rebecca Johnston. That girl can win a gold medal from me anytime.”

The celebration raised eyebrows (along with other body parts) at the IOC, which said it would look into the matter. Gilbert Felli, the executive director of the IOC, said “unless you are alone in your hotel room, this is not what you want to see.”

“I don’t think getting the fan aroused is a good promotion of sports values. If they had performed their celebration back in the locker room, with a handheld camera, that’s one thing. But not in public. And when Haley Irwin poured champagne into the beautiful mouth of Tessa Bonhomme, that was just it for me. I need to schedule a meeting in my office with those two, at once.”

Fans see this display differently, obviously, as many want this type of celebration for winning a gold medal made an official Olympic rule.

“I don’t have a problem at all with Canada’s celebration, outside of some of the hairy armpits I saw,” said Olympic fan, Craig Bateer. “But this is what the fans need out of the Olympics. It would keep us wanting America to win even more. I mean, have you seen Lindsey Vonn ? And then to see her making out after her gold medal win ? USA !!! USA !!!"

When asked what he thinks about the USA Men’s Hockey Team possibly winning the gold with that rule in place, Craig said ‘totally gay’.