Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Lawrence Taylor Indicted on Charges of Breaking Quarterback’s Leg


Pro Football Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor was indicted Wednesday by a suburban New York grand jury of a 1985 crime that was broadcast on live television.

November 18, 1985 on Monday Night Football was the setting of this gruesome crime when a botched “flea flicker” play, sniffed out beautifully by LT, led to the linebacker sacking Joe Theismann and ending his career. Forcing that tool into year’s of torturing America as a broadcaster we have been suffering with ever since.

District Attorney Thomas Zugibe said that this has been an ongoing investigation for the past 25 years, but recent clippings on YouTube have provided investigators with all the proof they need.

“One of the most effective ways to target crimes on the NFL field is to go after the perpetrators. We were unsure of the culprit for all of these years because we have heard countless testimony of former NFL players who hated Theismann. But with the different views of the crime we were able to get from YouTube, we are quite confident that LT is our ear ringed man.”

Lawrence Taylor says that he has never seen video of the alleged crime but is positive that he was not involved.

“This is a vicious accusation by these investigators and I will exhaust every effort to prove my innocence. Yes, I was on the field when Mr. Theismann was hurt and I may even have played a part in the sack. But I was not the cause of his leg being broken. And I am tired of people using me waving to the Redskins’ sideline as proof that I did it. I was actually just trying to wave over the cameraman so he could get a close-up of me laying ‘Joey Sunshine’s’ ass out.”

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Aktivate, BBJ (Boom Bap Jesus)


I have a confession... I never listen to an album straight through. More on that later... When I first happened upon Ryknow in the early fall/late summer of 1989 in a Prince Georges county school cafeteria, a lanky, smile on his face, serious look in his eye, tall for his age kid carrying a trumpet case... Little did I know this "kid" would grow into full fledged artist, with not just just an understanding of perspective and pitch, but the gift to relay his own perspective in simplest of terms.

Fast forward to 2010... Aktivate!
The first time listening to Ry's offering was a bit strange for me. I had only seen him a week or two prior and asked him about the progress and true to his modest form, he gave me the, "eh, it's about ready" retort. I was like, "cool, can't wait to hear it." So when I finally sat down and committed to hear it I couldn't get his face out of my mind. It was a strange mixture of pride, admiration, and confusion. Here's my take on the effort...

Aktivate opens with a simple statement of truth furnished by longtime Phonetic Armageddon cohort J-Who?, over a what I can only describe as a daring (yes daring you to listen)type of beat. The beauty of Aktivate is suddenly revealed as the album moves easily and rightfully on to the aptly named Knowtime better than the Present; a melodic summertime scene setter. From there the album paces itself into Skatter Brush, a thought provoking track with a "timeout" feel to it... Bringing us to the title track "Aktivate" where Ryknow demonstrates his ability to encapsulate the sound of a whole album on one song, Aktive is your favorite rollercoaster's favorite rollercoaster. Next the album moves on to Blue Instrospektion, which I will admit is a bit confusing to me, but it's art and art is perspective. After, Blue Instrospektion, Aktivate does what few albums have dared to do... It grows in circumference with Sunday Morning, J-Pope's offerings on the track are simply stunning. J-Pope exhibits fine tuned time machine of a voice that will chase you through any era, catch you, and then deliver bars that are felt by anyone who has had or will have questions on spiritualism. It's definitely one that gets run back... As the album moves on to Toe Knee Grundgy, I have to admit when I first heard it, my exact thoughts were "Dear Boom Bap Jesus!" It is a moment in Boom Bap history that will resonate within the listeners head for quite some time. It might be my favorite effort of the album. Another beautiful moment/ability of the album is to cleanse your palate in a way. That's what the next track Falls does without much effort. The haunting Nas samples and laid back road tripesque vibe draw you back into your own thoughts of how you wish you would have or wouldn't have done certain things... Yet, I digress. Falls is the point of the album when you or I actually start to appreciate the artistry behind the music, the cuts (DJ SupaStar) and the engineering (Cam1). Perfectly placed track. No sooner than you are thinking about rewinding back to Falls you are flattened by the beautiful horns on the albums next offering 3Dreams... talk about timeless music and a standout and a reason to buy. 3Dreams is one of those tracks that cement an album. This brings me to Kinetic Duck Sauce... if you wont freestyle to this, then rhyming isn't your thing. Almost enough said... Kinetic Duck Sauce is definitely a feel good musical movement. Sometimes Hip Hop as a culture has to remind itself to have fun. Kinetic Duck Sauce does just that. "She was on a search and destroy mission." Ryknow's voice? These words grab your attention like cement hands closing around your neck. "Dear Leanne" 11 tracks in and we finally get a lyrical offering from Ryknow. Dear Leanne is uber poignant, honest, and emotional. What more can you ask for? At this point the album is speaking for itself as any and all great albums will and must do... it has become a self sustaining, self motivating piece of living art. Pardon Muah, the albums next offering is upbeat, fun, and nostalgic. String Fellow the next track only adds to the diversity of the album, String Fellow is screenplay/score quality music... *note to self* use it in your screenplay. As I stated earlier, the album has long since taken on a life of it's own, this point is driven home yet again on the thought provoking Master Prestidigitor. Just when you think the album can't get anymore diverse it jumps up with Comeletwego, if there was ever going to be a sword fight in Hip Hop, this would be the background music. Beautiful. Finally we are delivered to Unchained Heart, the last offering of the album? Ryknow closes with what to me seems like a musical thank you; and another encapsulating effort.

Aktivate... is it Ryknow's magnum opus? No, I don't think so. I think there is much more to come from him. The diversity displayed on Aktivate are it's strengths and weaknesses. In saying that however, I think that everyone's strength and weaknesses lay within their own display of diversity. All in all a beautiful, qualified, and timeless album. I am proud to say that I listened to Aktivate all the way through and will do so again. Ultimately to me Aktivate serves as a lesson on the big picture and the larger statement.

In closing, please support the church of Boom Bap Jesus by helping his child Ryknow:

http://ryknow.bandcamp.com/