Pro Football Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor was indicted Wednesday by a suburban New York grand jury of a 1985 crime that was broadcast on live television.
November 18, 1985 on Monday Night Football was the setting of this gruesome crime when a botched “flea flicker” play, sniffed out beautifully by LT, led to the linebacker sacking Joe Theismann and ending his career. Forcing that tool into year’s of torturing America as a broadcaster we have been suffering with ever since.
District Attorney Thomas Zugibe said that this has been an ongoing investigation for the past 25 years, but recent clippings on YouTube have provided investigators with all the proof they need.
“One of the most effective ways to target crimes on the NFL field is to go after the perpetrators. We were unsure of the culprit for all of these years because we have heard countless testimony of former NFL players who hated Theismann. But with the different views of the crime we were able to get from YouTube, we are quite confident that LT is our ear ringed man.”
Lawrence Taylor says that he has never seen video of the alleged crime but is positive that he was not involved.
“This is a vicious accusation by these investigators and I will exhaust every effort to prove my innocence. Yes, I was on the field when Mr. Theismann was hurt and I may even have played a part in the sack. But I was not the cause of his leg being broken. And I am tired of people using me waving to the Redskins’ sideline as proof that I did it. I was actually just trying to wave over the cameraman so he could get a close-up of me laying ‘Joey Sunshine’s’ ass out.”
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