Another Legend Gone Too Soon, We'll miss you Billy D

S-DUB HERE FOR NO SHEPHERDS FOR SHEEPLE!!!!

It doesn’t quite sound the same. If you are living under a rock, I am sorry I am the bearer of horrible news. The tremendous and irreplaceable pitchman Billy Mays, has died. He was born William Darrell "Billy" Mays, Jr. or “Billy D” as I affectionately called him, but known to most as Billy Mays. I was shocked and hurt when I found out the news. It seemed unreal. It was too much to take for me and I just lost it. On Sunday morning after recovering from a long night out on the town with friends, and old friends at a function that will remain nameless do to the lackluster effort given to the event, I went to brunch and was feasting on a shrimp omelet, when the bad news was delivered.

The world was and still is grieving the loss of Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and of course the King of Pop, Michael Joseph Jackson. HHOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!! It hurts to even think about it. And to top it off on Sunday morning we get more bad news. I know for me, it was hurtful and shocking. I could and would joyfully and expectantly wait for Billy Mays to wake me in the wee hours of Saturday (and even sometimes Sunday) morning.

After a spirit-filled evening out to celebrate the weekend, most of you would fall into a coma-like sleep and not wake up until after most restaurants stop serving breakfast or later the next morning/afternoon. I, on the other hand, had the wonderful experience of having Billy Mays personally wake me in the middle of the night to remind me to go to bed. It would be automatic, I come home and trip through the door over something that either was or wasn’t suppose to be there and plop down on the couch to watch the re-airing of SportsCenter for the 4^th time while eating my “fourth meal”. After channel surfing I would probably settle on something less than educational and fall asleep. And just like clockwork around 3am Billy would come through and in his smooth and hypnotic voice would yell at me “BILLY MAYS HERE FOR OXI CLEAN/ MIGHT PUTTY/SIMONZ FIX IT/GRATER PLATER/MIGHTY MENDIT/ FLIES AWAY…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” It was time to go to bed when Billy Mays came through. And I have him to thank for countless mornings of waking on time, no or small cricks in my neck (whatever a crick is), or even not having my lady mad at me for not coming to bed. What a friend he is, or worse yet, was (Man, this is hard) for keeping me from countless hard times.

Upon arriving home from brunch with my shrimp omelet, which was succulent and oh so tasty by the way, I was hungry again and headache almost gone. I decided to eat the rest of my food and have some Cabernet Sauvignon to…you know put me at ease, just a taste to level me out. Unfortunately, I became just so distraught after watching the Man in the mirror video for the 17^th time this weekend, I threw the bottle across the room and it shattered on my beige-ish brown microfiber couch. Boy, what a mess it was. I tried immediately to use soap and water just like my grandmother taught me. But, it needed something stronger. Of course, you guessed it, Oxi Clean. I was putting some elbow grease into it too but it just wouldn’t come out. It needed, of course you guessed it again, more Oxi Clean. Thank the Lord for Billy Mays again because he got me to buy 1 and even gave me 2 ½ more of it for free.

Now, I’m going to try and get in touch with his wife to let her know how much Billy meant to me. And if she calls me in the next 30 days, I’ll even throw in a free bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon so she can possibly enjoy Billy as I did.

This is tough but we’ll get through it together. I don’t know who is going to wake me in the wee hours of the morning anymore. But in the event you decide to give me a call or even want Billy Mays to wake you every weekend just play the first five seconds of this wonderful video of Billy D aka Billy Mays.