Someone need these ???

After losing to Germany in the Olympics, USA enlists Ed Hochuli's arms for their next curling event.

You ought to know: Stop Snitchin', Denmark Vesey Edition

Bio

Denmark Vesey originally Telemaque, (1767? – July 2, 1822) was an African American slave brought to the United States from the Caribbean. After purchasing his freedom, he planned what would have been one of the largest slave rebellions in the United States. Word of the plans was leaked, and Charleston, South Carolina, authorities arrested the plot's leaders before the uprising could begin. Vesey and others were tried, convicted and executed.
Many antislavery activists came to regard Vesey as a hero. During the American Civil War, abolitionist Frederick Douglass used Vesey's name as a battle cry to rally African-American regiments, especially the 54th Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry.
In 1781, Vesey was purchased by Captain Joseph Vesey from the then-Danish Caribbean island of St. Thomas. He labored briefly in French Saint-Domingue (present-day Haiti), and then was settled in Charleston, South Carolina as a youth, where Joseph Vesey kept him as a domestic slave. On November 9, 1799, Denmark Vesey won $1500 in a city lottery. He bought his own freedom and began working as a carpenter. Although briefly a Presbyterian, Vesey co-founded a branch of the African Methodist Episcopal Church in 1816. The church was temporarily shut down by white authorities in 1818 and again in 1820.

Conspiracy

Inspired by the revolutionary spirit and actions of slaves during the 1791 Haitian Revolution, and furious at the closing of the African Church, Vesey began to plan a slave rebellion. His insurrection, which was to take place on Bastille Day, July 14, 1822, became known to thousands of blacks throughout Charleston and along the Carolina coast. The plot called for Vesey and his group of slaves and free blacks to slay their owners and temporarily seize the city of Charleston. Vesey and his followers planned to sail to Haiti to escape retaliation. Two slaves opposed to Vesey's scheme leaked the plot. Charleston authorities charged 131 men with conspiracy. In total, 67 men were convicted and 35 hanged, including Denmark Vesey.
Sandy Vesey, one of Denmark's sons, was transported, probably to Cuba. Vesey's last wife Susan later immigrated to Liberia. Another son, Robert Vesey, survived to rebuild Charleston's African Methodist Episcopal Church in 1865.
In response to white fears, a municipal guard of 150 men was established in Charleston in 1822. Half the men were stationed in an arsenal called the Citadel. In 1842, the South Carolina legislature replaced the expensive guardsmen with less expensive cadets. The arsenal was turned over to the newly established South Carolina Military Academy, which later became known as The Citadel.

Lil Wayne Jail Sentencing Postponed After he has his Braces Tightened

Lil Wayne temporarily escaped his sentencing in New York on criminal possession of a weapon after the judge found out that the rapper just had his braces tightened. Lil Wayne, 27, whose real name is Dwayne Carter said that he and his Pa had been planning this oral surgery since he was even littler. “You know this has actually been a procedure that Pa and I have been planning for awhile. Braces are very important to a Martian’s appearance and we thought this was a perfect time to get them tightened to close the gap between my Incisors. Fans mistakenly thought I had all this platinum in my mouth for a fashion statement. No, these platinum braces are so Weezy F can keep that Colgate smile, whoadie.” The braces also must be a way to keep him and his Pa close like a father and son should be. As Pa gave him a beautiful and passionate kiss as Wayne walked out of the Orthodontist.

He is still in my heart !!!

Juan Dixon blames his alleged steroid use on the death of his former teammate, Len Bias.

N-Word Please !!!

John Mayer says n*ggaz should just give him a hood pass for using the ‘n-word’.

Clark Kent Tells Dwight Howard and Shaq to Kindly Shut the F*ck Up

After the Cleveland Cavaliers played the Orlando Magic this week, Shaquille O’Neal commented to the media questioning the true origin of the “Superman” mantra, referencing the use of it by Orlando center, Dwight Howard. Dwight, in response, basically told Shaq to get over it because ‘a lot of people call themselves Superman, not just me and Shaq.’ And one of those persons held a press conference to tell both of those multi-million dollar superstars to just shut the f*ck up.

“Why the h*ll are we even entertaining these two idiots? “said reporter, Clark Kent, with much disdain. “These two normal humans are making millions of dollars playing a damn game. I am a super human and I had to work as a measly reporter at that crappy Daily Planet, barely making minimum wage, and I didn’t have to step in front of the cameras boasting about who I was. How can they be Superman anyway ? Neither one of them have that little Vidal Sassoon curl in the front of their hair.”

One of Clark Kent’s arch-nemesis, General Zod, was quick to chime in on this ‘Who is the real superman?’ debate.

“In my professional villain opinion, this is really no question. I quickly realized the authenticity of Clark’s Superman powers that time I asked him to ‘Come, kneel before Zod’ and that prick crushed my frickin hand leaving me with Arthritis. Furthermore, how could Shaq even be the son of Jor-el, isn’t his father’s name Phillip or something?”

Clark says that ‘even though everyone uses cell phones now’, he ‘will find a phone booth somewhere if it needs to be proven who the true man of steel is.’

“Look, for the last time. I am Clark Kent and I am the real Superman. Not Dwight Howard and not Shaquille O’Neal. My feats are impeccable and well-documented. And not only in saving Earth from General Zod and his 2 cronies but also in my eye for discovering talent. H*ll, I made Lex Luthor a star way before Enemy of the State and Wyatt Earp.”

Nate Robinson Wins 3rd Consecutive Mini Slam Contest at Local Carnival

Nate Robinson became the first player to win the mini slam contest, 3 years in a row, at the local Carnival held Saturday night in Dallas, TX. The carnival, which has become largely forgettable the last couple of years, has tried to spice things up by using a 6’5 rim instead of the standard 10’ rim which the carnival routinely incorporates. Nate won the contest in the final round by bringing several Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders on the court with him, attempting to divert the fans attention to the ladies and away from this joke of a contest.

“The best thing that I could bring with me to this mini slam contest were the Cowboys cheerleaders. I asked if they could help me out in the carnival this year and they said they were more than happy to. I told them that all I needed them to do really was just to walk out onto the court and that should distract the crowd enough so they wouldn’t pay any attention to the crap I was doing.”

And his goal was successful. When asked what he thought of Nate’s final dunk, Shawn Rudell, local bartender, said, “Who?”

“To be honest, I have stopped paying any attention to this annual carnival. I just come to the events because of all the hot women who come in droves to try to secure themselves a carnival participant. There’s only so many ‘roofies’ you can slip in a chick’s drink and I figured this was the next best thing. And I was much more focused on the T&A out there on the court with the pompoms than watching the New York Knicks mascot. Did he win ?”

But Robinson said that he is not going for 4 carnival wins in a row and that he is calling it quits.

“No, this is it for me. I’m just happy that I got this third one in a row. But this is definitely the last one. I don’t think I can bear all the different ideas they were trying to come up with to make this carnival interesting again. Things like a ‘Guess Charles Barkley’s Weight’ booth or a ‘Take a Pic with the mascot of the New York Knicks’ booth. Come on man. And I thought the NBA All-Star Saturday night was a joke.”

Haiti

If you wish to help, this is a good place to start: http://www.charitynavigator.org/