RIP

Hoping Gary Coleman is at peace... RIP

Nobody Bothers Me: The Sweet Science

Boxing is a combat sport and martial art in which two people fight using their fists. Boxing is typically supervised by a referee engaged in during a series of one- to three-minute intervals called rounds and the boxers generally of similar weight,. There are three ways to win; if the opponent is knocked out and unable to get up before the referee counts to ten seconds (a Knockout, or KO) or if the opponent is deemed too injured to continue (a Technical Knockout, or TKO). If there is no stoppage of the fight before an agreed number of rounds, a winner is determined either by the referee's decision or by judges' scorecards.

History

Fist fighting depicted in Sumerian relief carvings from the 3rd millennium BC, while an ancient Egyptian relief from the 2nd millennium BC depicts both fist-fighters and spectators. Both depictions show bare-fisted contests. In 1927 Dr. E. A. Speiser, an archaeologist, discovered a Mesopotamian stone tablet in Baghdad, Iraq depicting two men getting ready for a prize fight. The tablet is believed to be 7,000 years old. The earliest evidence for fist fighting with any kind of gloves can be found on Minoan Crete (c. 1500–900 BC), and on Sardinia, if we consider the boxing statues of Prama mountains (c. 2000–1000 BC).

In ancient Rome, there were two forms of boxing both coming from Etruscan boxing. The athletic form of boxing remained popular throughout the Roman world. The other form of boxing was gladiatorial. Fighters were usually criminals and slaves who hoped to become champions and gain their freedom; however, free men, women, and even aristocrats also fought. Gladiators wore lead "cestae" over their knuckles and heavy leather straps on their forearms to protect against blows. The deeply scarred and cauliflower eared figure of the Boxer of Quirinal show what a brutal sport it could be (matches often ending in the death or maiming of an opponent).
Eventually, fist fighting became so popular that even emperors started fighting, and the practice was promoted by Caesar Neronis. A fight between the agile Dares and the towering Entellus is described at length in the Roman national epic Aeneid (1st century BC).
In 393 A.D., the Olympics were banned by the Christian emperor Theodosius, and in 400 A.D., boxing was banned altogether by Theodoric the Great as boxing being an insult to God because it disfigures the face, the image of God. However, this edict had little effect outside the major cities of the Eastern Empire. By this time, western Europe was no longer part of the Roman Empire. Boxing remained popular in Europe throughout the Middle Ages and beyond. Wrestling, fencing and racing (both chariot and foot) were never banned by the late Romans, as they did not cause disfigurement.

Rules
Early fighting had no written rules. There were no weight divisions or round limits, and no referee. In general, it was extremely chaotic. The first boxing rules, called the Broughton's rules, were introduced by heavyweight champion Jack Broughton in 1743 to protect fighters in the ring where deaths sometimes occurred. Under these rules, if a man went down and could not continue after a count of 30 seconds, the fight was over. Hitting a downed fighter and grasping below the waist were prohibited. Broughton also invented and encouraged the use of "mufflers", a form of padded gloves, which were used in training and exhibitions.

In 1838, the London Prize Ring rules were codified. Later revised in 1853, they stipulated the following:
Fights occurred in a 24 feet (7.3 m)-square ring surrounded by ropes.
If a fighter was knocked down, he had to rise within 30 seconds under his own power to be allowed to continue.
Biting, headbutting and hitting below the belt were declared fouls.
Through the late nineteenth century, boxing or prizefighting was primarily a sport of dubious legitimacy. Outlawed in England and much of the United States, prizefights were often held at gambling venues and broken up by police. Brawling and wrestling tactics continued, and riots at prizefights were common occurrences. Still, throughout this period, there arose some notable bare knuckle champions who developed fairly sophisticated fighting tactics.

The Marquess of Queensberry rules is a code of generally accepted rules in the sport of boxing. They were named so because the 9th Marquess of Queensberry publicly endorsed the code. They are intended for use in both professional and amateur boxing matches, thus separating it from the less popular American Fair Play Rules which were strictly intended for amateur matches.

History

The boxing code was written by John Graham Chambers in 1865 and published in 1867 as "the Queensberry rules for the sport of boxing". This code of rules superseded the Revised London Prize Ring rules (1853), which had themselves replaced the original London Prize Ring rules (1743) of Jack Broughton. This version persuaded boxers that "you must not fight simply to win; no holds barred is not the way; you must win by the rules" (17, sect. 5, pt. 1).
One early prize fighter who fought under Marquess of Queensberry rules was Jem Mace, who won the English heavyweight title under these rules in 1861.

Rules

1. To be a fair stand-up boxing match in a 24-foot ring, or as near that size as practicable.
2. No wrestling or hugging allowed.
3. The rounds to be of three minutes duration, and one minute's time between rounds.
4. If either man falls through weakness or otherwise, he must get up unassisted, 10 seconds to be allowed him to do so, the other man meanwhile to return to his corner, and when the fallen man is on his legs the round is to be resumed and continued until the three minutes have expired. If one man fails to come to the scratch in the 10 seconds allowed, it shall be in the power of the referee to give his award in favour of the other man.
5. A man hanging on the ropes in a helpless state, with his toes off the ground, shall be considered down.
6. No seconds or any other person to be allowed in the ring during the rounds.
7. Should the contest be stopped by any unavoidable interference, the referee to name the time and place as soon as possible for finishing the contest; so that the match must be won and lost, unless the backers of both men agree to draw the stakes.
8. The gloves to be fair-sized boxing gloves of the best quality and new.
9. Should a glove burst, or come off, it must be replaced to the referee's satisfaction.
10. A man on one knee is considered down and if struck is entitled to the stakes.
11. That no shoes or boots with spikes or sprigs be allowed.
12. The contest in all other respects to be governed by revised London Prize Ring Rules.

Techniques

Stance
The modern boxing stance differs substantially from the typical boxing stances of the 19th and early 20th centuries. The modern stance has a more upright vertical-armed guard, as opposed to the more horizontal, knuckles-facing-forward guard adopted by early 20th century hook users such as Jack Johnson.
In a fully upright stance, the boxer stands with the legs shoulder-width apart and the rear foot a half-step behind the lead foot. Right-handed or orthodox boxers lead with the left foot and fist. Both feet are parallel, and the right heel is off the ground. The lead (left) fist is held vertically about six inches in front of the face at eye level. The rear (right) fist is held beside the chin and the elbow tucked against the ribcage to protect the body. The chin is tucked into the chest to avoid punches to the jaw which commonly cause knock-outs and is often kept slightly offcenter. Wrists are slightly bent to avoid damage when punching and the elbows are kept tucked in to protect the ribcage. Some boxers fight from a crouch, leaning forward and keeping their feet closer together. The stance described is considered the "textbook" stance and fighters are encouraged to change it around once its been mastered as a base. Case in point, many fast fighters have their hands down and have almost exaggerated footwork, while brawlers or bully fighters tend to slowly stalk their opponents.
Left-handed or southpaw fighters use a mirror image of the orthodox stance, which can create problems for orthodox fighters unaccustomed to receiving jabs, hooks, or crosses from the opposite side. The southpaw stance, conversely, is vulnerable to a straight right hand.
North American fighters tend to favor a more balanced stance, facing the opponent almost squarely, while many European fighters stand with their torso turned more to the side. The positioning of the hands may also vary, as some fighters prefer to have both hands raised in front of the face, risking exposure to body shots.
Modern boxers can sometimes be seen tapping their cheeks or foreheads with their fists in order to remind themselves to keep their hands up (which becomes difficult during long bouts). Boxers are taught to push off with their feet in order to move effectively. Forward motion involves lifting the lead leg and pushing with the rear leg. Rearward motion involves lifting the rear leg and pushing with the lead leg. During lateral motion the leg in the direction of the movement moves first while the opposite leg provides the force needed to move the body.

Punches
There are four basic punches in boxing: the jab, straight right/left hand, hook and uppercut. If a boxer is right-handed (orthodox), his left hand is the lead hand and his right hand is the rear hand. For a left-handed boxer or southpaw, the hand positions are reversed. For clarity, the following discussion will assume a right-handed boxer.
Jab – A quick, straight punch thrown with the lead hand from the guard position. The jab is accompanied by a small, clockwise rotation of the torso and hips, while the fist rotates 90 degrees, becoming horizontal upon impact. As the punch reaches full extension, the lead shoulder can be brought up to guard the chin. The rear hand remains next to the face to guard the jaw. After making contact with the target, the lead hand is retracted quickly to resume a guard position in front of the face. The jab is recognised as the most important punch in a boxer's arsenal because it provides a fair amount of its own cover and it leaves the least amount of space for a counter punch from the opponent. It has the longest reach of any punch and does not require commitment or large weight transfers. Due to its relatively weak power, the jab is often used as a tool to gauge distances, probe an opponent's defenses, harass an opponent, and set up heavier, more powerful punches. A half-step may be added, moving the entire body into the punch, for additional power. Some notable boxers who have been able to develop relative power in their jabs and use it to punish or 'wear down' their opponents to some effect include Larry Holmes and Wladimir Klitschko.

Cross – A powerful, straight punch thrown with the rear hand. From the guard position, the rear hand is thrown from the chin, crossing the body and traveling towards the target in a straight line. The rear shoulder is thrust forward and finishes just touching the outside of the chin. At the same time, the lead hand is retracted and tucked against the face to protect the inside of the chin. For additional power, the torso and hips are rotated counter-clockwise as the cross is thrown. Weight is also transferred from the rear foot to the lead foot, resulting in the rear heel turning outwards as it acts as a fulcrum for the transfer of weight. Body rotation and the sudden weight transfer is what gives the cross its power. Like the jab, a half-step forward may be added. After the cross is thrown, the hand is retracted quickly and the guard position resumed. It can be used to counter punch a jab, aiming for the opponent's head (or a counter to a cross aimed at the body) or to set up a hook. The cross can also follow a jab, creating the classic "one-two" combination. The cross is also called a "straight" or "right", especially if it does not cross the opponent's outstretched jab.

Hook – A semi-circular punch thrown with the lead hand to the side of the opponent's head. From the guard position, the elbow is drawn back with a horizontal fist (knuckles pointing forward) and the elbow bent. The rear hand is tucked firmly against the jaw to protect the chin. The torso and hips are rotated clockwise, propelling the fist through a tight, clockwise arc across the front of the body and connecting with the target. At the same time, the lead foot pivots clockwise, turning the left heel outwards. Upon contact, the hook's circular path ends abruptly and the lead hand is pulled quickly back into the guard position. A hook may also target the lower body and this technique is sometimes called the "rip" to distinguish it from the conventional hook to the head. The hook may also be thrown with the rear hand. Notable left hookers include:Joe Frazier and Mike Tyson

Uppercut – A vertical, rising punch thrown with the rear hand. From the guard position, the torso shifts slightly to the right, the rear hand drops below the level of the opponent's chest and the knees are bent slightly. From this position, the rear hand is thrust upwards in a rising arc towards the opponent's chin or torso. At the same time, the knees push upwards quickly and the torso and hips rotate anti-clockwise and the rear heel turns outward, mimicking the body movement of the cross. The strategic utility of the uppercut depends on its ability to "lift" the opponent's body, setting it off-balance for successive attacks. The right uppercut followed by a left hook is a deadly combination employing the uppercut to lift the opponent's chin into a vulnerable position, then the hook to knock the opponent out.

These different punch types can be thrown in rapid succession to form combinations or "combos". The most common is the jab and cross combination, nicknamed the "one-two combo". This is usually an effective combination, because the jab blocks the opponent's view of the cross, making it easier to land cleanly and forcefully.

#latepass

So, I am watching the Boston Orlando game bored with it already, at the beginning of the 2nd half...
Anyway, I guess I will get to my brief point. Google Translate is dope! I'm slowly coming to terms with my google dependence. I know, I know. The first step to solving any problem is to acknowledge it... yadda yadda yadda.


ठीक है, तो मैं शायद मैं कर रहा हूँ, लेकिन देर से Google अनुवाद अविश्वसनीय है.
Hindi

Ok, γι 'αυτό ίσως είμαι αργά, αλλά το Google Translate είναι απίστευτη.
Greek

Итак, я, может быть, я поздно, но Google Translate является невероятным.
Russian

を、私は多分私はこれが最近ではGoogle翻訳はすごいですね。
Japanese

Ok, vì vậy tôi có lẽ tôi muộn nhưng Google Translate là khó tin.
Vietnamese

طيب ، لذلك ربما أنا في وقت متأخر ولكن مترجم جوجل لا يصدق.
Arabic

Ok, donc je peut-être je suis en retard, mais Google Translate est incroyable.
French

Ok, kwa hiyo mimi labda mimi ni marehemu lakini Google Translate ni ajabu.
Swahili

Ok, tak jsem možná jsem pozdě, ale Google Překladač je neuvěřitelné.
Czech

Ok, alò mwen petèt mwen ta nan men Google Tradui se enkwayab.
Creole

Ok, so I maybe I am late but Google Translate is incredible.

좋아, 아마 난 너무 늦었지만, Google 번역 대단하네요.
Korean

Ok, así que tal vez yo llego tarde pero Google Translate es increíble.
Spanish

Tiger Woods pulls out of TPC, mid-stroke, with a bulging d*ck

SPIN into the Past: JaMarcus Russel re-declares as an LSU freshman after hearing that he'll be picked #1 by the Oakland Raiders

In a stunning series of events, JaMarcus Russell has re-declared as a freshman at Louisiana State University after hearing the news leaks of the Raiders identifying the QB as their likely pick.

JaMarcus announced on January 10 that he was foregoing his senior season at LSU to enter into the draft.

“This is the opportunity of a lifetime. The chance to make the jump to the pros at a time when I am a hot item is something I could not pass up. That was until I heard the rumors going around the NFL Combine that the Raiders were eyeing me as their QB of the future. I mean there is no way in hell that I am going to play for them. I’d rather take a job washing dishes at Golden Corral.”

After releasing Aaron Brooks, the Raiders were looking to make JaMarcus their centerpiece of the future.

“We are very disappointed at Mr. Russell, “said GM, Michael Lombardi. “We were poised to make him the #1 overall pick in the draft, and give him a hefty contract in the process. But now what are we going to do? Draft that midget, Troy Smith, or that Brady Quinn guy? Because we cannot go into the season with just Andrew Walter and Marques Tooee-Toowey,Too-Too-Too damn hard to pronounce. I just want you to know JaMarcus, THIS IS WAR!!! You hear me, WAR!!! You will regret the day you decided on not being in an Oakland Raider uniform. Throwing touchdowns or taking Mr. Davis to go potty.”

LSU coach, Les Miles, was ecstatic to have JaMarcus back in a Tigers uniform.

“I can’t tell you the joy that I have now that my quarterback is coming back to us for another year. I mean JaMarcus was the SEC player of the week 3 times, was the Sugar Bowl MVP, and even won the Manning Award for being the best QB in the SEC who was unable to win the SEC championship. I hope that the Raiders suck every year so they will always get the #1 overall pick. Then JaMarcus will be mine forever.”

JaMarcus showed optimism though when told of the rumors of Randy Moss possibly being traded to the Green Bay Packers.

“Are you forreal? That would be sweet. If the Raiders trade Randy then they will definitely select Calvin Johnson #1. And Matt Millen will probably choose another receiver, with his retarded azz. So it looks like Cleveland would be my new home. And playing for Romeo Crennel is much better than playing for Lane Kiffin and Al Davis. That would be almost like playing for my little nephew and my dead uncle.”

Clinton Portis criticizes Lavar Arrington for thinking that he’s a bigger dick

Clinton Portis and Lavar Arrington have certainly taken their shots at each other. It began a few months back when Clinton criticized Lavar for leaving the team because ‘he felt like he wasn’t the main money guy, because everybody was getting paid.’ But in the latest installment, Clinton criticized Lavar for thinking that he is a bigger dick than CP.

Portis lashed out at Arrington for speaking at Sean Taylor’s funeral without really being cool with him. A true dick move that Clinton said only he would do.

“I lost a lot of respect for Lavar at that moment, speaking at Sean’s funeral. He ain’t even know Sean like that. On the real, Sean and I were going to jump him for trying to haze Sean in his rookie year for looking like a rabid hyena. And then to get up there and act like you knew him ? I really thought that was him being a, um, I don’t know what you call that. Oh, a dick.”

Lavar plans to respond to these accusations from Clinton and prove that Arrington is indeed the bigger dick out of the two, on his radio show today at 5:00.

In typical Dan Snyder fashion, he plans on profiting off of this debate between the two by setting up an MMA bout between them on the 50 yard line at Fed-Ex Field. Indeed, a defiant move by the Redskins owner to show both of them who the ultimate dick is.

SPIN into the Past: Barbaro Is Remembered As Being The Most Charismatic Horse Since Mister Ed

January 29, 2007 was a sad day in the sports world. The Indianapolis Colts had the audacity to show up late to Miami for the Super Bowl. The nerve of the Colts. Oh yeah, speaking of the Colts, it was another sad day as Barbaro was euthanized after a long battle with cancer. Oh my bad, it wasn’t cancer it was something with his hind leg. But Barbaro will always be remembered for his charismatic ways.

Not since the days of Mister Ed has a horse grasped the hearts and minds of a nation as Barbaro did. Eight year old Shelly Faldo said that the horse brought so much into her life.

“Barbaro was my hero. I know that he was only a horse, but my mom and dad always told me to never look down on people and that we are all the same. So although Barbaro could walk and poop at the same time, me and him were the same.”

Roy and Gretchen Jackson, Barbaro’s owner, said that they will always cherish the four years the horse and them spent together.

“From the moment we had Barbaro bred, we knew that he was a one of a kind horse. He came from the heredity of Dynaformer and La Ville Rouge, two stupendous horses, so we knew the apple couldn’t fall too far from the saddle. And forget the racing aspect and the fact that this piece of crap horse won us $2.3 million in earnings, he was charismatic beyond belief. I remember times when I would go out back to the stable, just to get the lawnmower to cut the grass, and Barbaro would shoot me that glare as if to say ‘If I knew how to balance on my 2 hind legs I would cut the grass for you’. I don’t know, maybe he was only looking like that cause he had to take a piss, but I am sure that he has thought that before.”

His trainer, Michael Matz, was heartbroken by the decision to euthanize him.

“Next to Mike Tyson getting knocked out by Buster Douglas, this is the hardest thing that I have had to deal with. Barbaro was my strength and my sole purpose for existence. I don’t even know if I can go on living without those long strolls in the parks with him walking and pooping. He was a man’s thoroughbred. That 1 win at the Kentucky Derby was only the beginning. We were on our way to traveling all around the world, experiencing different parks to walk and poop in. But now, it’s no more.”

As officials searched Barbaro’s stable to recover all his possessions a letter was found which is believed to be Barbaro’s final words to the world. And it read:

Dear world,

I am free now. Free to experience what a horse of my ilk should have experienced on earth. You think I wanted to have some guy riding on me putting a hurting on my already bad back? No, I didn’t want that. I just wanted to mind my own business and graze out in the field. But nooooooooo, you damn humans always want to make some sort of game out of us animals for your enjoyment. That’s right, I am an animal. I am not human. You psychotic fans going around sending me letters and flowers. Here’s a news flash: Horses can’t read. But thank you for the flowers, roses taste delicious.

And can you please stop using the word Euthanized, whatever that means. They didn’t euthanize me, they suckered me into going out into this nice pasture to graze in. Unbeknownst to me, that pasture was filled cyanide. That’s right, they killed my ass. I guess because my injury would not allow me to race ever again, they had no use for me. But whatever, screw those bastards. It is a much better world up here in Horsey Heaven. You wouldn’t believe the immaculate parks they have up here for me to walk and poop in.

Yours truly,

Barbaro